


At the Edge of the World

by princessdi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Character Study, Cold War, Domestic Fluff, Domestication, Drama, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Historical Hetalia, Historical References, Hopeful Ending, Mentioned Austria (Hetalia), Mentioned Germany (Hetalia), Mentioned Russia (Hetalia), Relationship Study, Sexual Humor, True Love, light humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23601625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessdi/pseuds/princessdi
Summary: Twenty years into their life behind the Iron Curtain, Hungary and Prussia try to keep their hopes for a better life and the memories of their loved ones alive.
Relationships: Hungary/Prussia (Hetalia)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	At the Edge of the World

_Potsdam, 1973._

Gilbert was hard at work in the kitchen. Rolling meatballs, separating egg yolk from whites, adding a pinch of this or that spice as needed. A feeling of pride swelled up in him. While his masterpiece was yet to be finished, the act of creating was satisfying enough. He dipped his pinky into the gravy and licked it. Delicious.

“That’s disgusting, don’t do that.” Despite her complaints, Erzsébet grabbed his hand and took a taste for herself. “Not bad. It’s like you’re almost completely domesticated.”

“Not bad? Erzsi, you wound me. This is the best meal I’ve ever made and that’s _all_ you can say on it?” He teasingly wagged a finger at her. “Marrying rich spoiled your tastes. I’m going to have to fix that.” He slid his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him. “And, I’ll have you know, I’m still wild. I’m still untamed.” As he spoke, he left a trail of slow and methodical kisses along her neck. His eyes caught sight of the timer. “Ah, shit. I should start boiling the potatoes.”

Erzsébet rolled her eyes. She assessed him as he plopped potatoes into a pot, an apron tied around him. Reality contrasted greatly with the image of him as young ruffian, ready to cut down foes as they appeared, in her mind. “Mm, as wild a man as I ever knew.” It wasn’t a bad image per-se, but it was certainly different.

Everything about their lives had been different, if she bothered to think about it. She often did as it was impossible not to. Within a span of a few decades – an insignificant amount of time to their kind – everything had turned upside down. For her, she had been married then divorced and finding her own way then controlled by two different strains of evil. For him, he was the king of the world until the world turned to new leaders, leaders with the power to take from him what he’d so easily stolen from others.

She poured herself a glass of wine and him one of beer. They were practically living together now, not going more than a couple days between seeing each other. Their lives had become fully integrated, something she hadn’t noticed until it was complete. It was to the point now that, even when she was spending time with Feliks, Gilbert didn’t try to make any excuses to be away.

To her surprise, there was a kiss on her cheek. “What secrets are my cabinets telling you, _Liebling_? Anything good?” Gilbert chuckled good-naturedly. “You’ve been standing completely still for a minute. You’ve been doing that more often.”

Erzsébet didn’t want to delve into what all had been playing through her mind. At least, not now. “Can’t a woman have her secrets?” She smirked, an idea coming to mind. “Your cabinets were telling me they think you need to paint the room a different color.”

“Tell the cabinets they’re stupid if they think I can just go to the store and pick up paint.” He turned away, deciding to set the table instead. He smiled at the bouquet of tulips at the center. With Erzsébet sharing his home, she had brought more color into it and made it feel livelier with little touches like these. Not only that, but now his garden had greater variation than simply large shrub and slightly smaller shrub.

“You can’t? I thought you had all these connections.” She was angling for more information, like she always did when this topic arose. “How do you explain why your place has the heat on in winter and mine doesn’t?” She tried to keep her tone light, but she had been dying to know. She would be lying if she hadn’t snuck into his office to look for papers, but he managed to conceal everything that would’ve been of interest.

He gave her the response he always did: “Russia and I were friends before. I like to think he looks out for me more, that a part of him still remembers that.” He felt the weight of her gaze looming over him. Prussia’s hand hovered above the table, fork in hand. He sighed. Hungary had never heard him sound so exhausted. “Can’t a man have his secrets too?” Feeling guilty over the possibility of disappointing her again, he backtracked. “We can discuss it later. Let’s enjoy dinner first.”

They passed the meal in quiet, both preoccupied with their own thoughts. Gilbert’s mind was racing. How would he tell her? He knew how she felt about these people, how she never hesitated to denounce their actions. What would she think of him? What would happen to him if she ran out, ran and never returned? Turning to Saxony was out of the question and Brandenburg, while Gilbert owed much to him, was not a comforting sort of man.

As if reading his mind, he felt the gentle brush of her foot against his ankle. Her eyes were brimming with reassuring affection. Surety and devotion surged through him. He reminded himself that he was being ridiculous, that whatever happened they would get through this. They had been through too much together for this to simply be the end.

While she cleaned the dishes, he refilled their glasses, not doubting their necessity for a moment. Once she was finished, he opened his mouth to speak. “Can we talk outside?” Erzsébet cut him off. He had told her many times that his house wasn’t bugged and, while she believed him, it made her more comfortable.

On the patio, she shifted around on the sofa until finding a satisfactory position. He lit a cigarette with shaky hands. Each year, it seemed his smoking got worse from Erzsébet’s perspective. She refrained from judgement. She was no better. Her drinking had increased exponentially as well, as she found refuge in her vice.

After a few moments of uneasy silence, Prussia cautiously began speaking. “Years ago, when this whole thing began, Ivan offered me a proposition. He knew I would get restless if I was stuck just doing the same bureaucratic horseshit as everyone else and claimed it would be a ‘waste of my talents.’ He told me all about the damned secret police, every fucking detail to make me a liability. Then, to try and get me excited, he promised me all these wonderful things. That I don’t have to worry about food, about gas and electric to my homes, that I won’t be wiretapped.” He shook his head, disgust written plainly on his face. “He said this was a gift for me, a testament to our friendship. What friendship is there when one friend strongarms the other into selling his soul?”

Erzsébet didn’t know what to say. All the words dried up in her mouth. That explained his secrecy. She nodded at him to continue, needing to hear more from him for her own peace of mind.

“I regret not pushing back more. I should’ve rejected the offer and dealt with the repercussions as they came, to try and pretend like I had principles.” There was that sigh again. Wearied and defeated, Atlas unable to support the world any longer. “I was so tired, Erzsi. What did pushing back against things do for me last time? All I had left was my conscience, no other acknowledgement from anyone that my actions mattered. I couldn’t keep my resolve for any longer. My only goal now is to take care of us both.” Craving nicotine, he took a long drag from his cigarette. “Please don’t think I’m a monster. I interfere when I can, but they keep me away from arrests. My sin is in training these brutes.”

When he’d finished, a stillness settled over them and throughout the garden. The only movement came from a light breeze rustling the leaves of the trees. Gilbert’s heart was racing as worst-case scenarios rushed through his mind. He braced himself, accepting a smack in the face before it could occur. He deserved it, he deserved nothing more than her full contempt. He began planning for a life without her, attempting to create a routine that would keep him as occupied as possible. The catastrophizing was in full swing.

“I feel like I should be more surprised than I am,” she mused. Her nail tapped lightly against her wine glass. She took a leisurely sip. “You had me believing it would all be worse than it is.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll help you pack.” He paused, only now processing what she had just said. “Wait, what?”

“I can see why you wouldn’t fight back. Even before the end of the world you’ve seemed so…done with everything. I’d like to say that I would have reacted differently, but I have my doubts. Who wouldn’t be resigned to whatever life threw at them next after dissolution? It’s a distasteful situation, but that’s how everything’s been since the thirties.” A few giggles escaped her at his reaction. “What’s with that shocked look on your face? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

He was currently doing gymnastics in his mind, trying to connect reality with his expectations. “You’re not leaving me? You can’t stand collaborationists! Why aren’t you screaming at me?”

She couldn’t suppress her laughter any longer. His overblown reaction was too much for her to handle. She clutched her stomach with one hand and wiped away a tear with the other. “Do you want me to yell at you?” Another laughing fit. Once calm, she took his hand in hers and kissed it. “You’re right, I loathe them with every fiber of my being. The ones who work in tandem with these creeps for power, they disgust me and I wash my hands of them. Those who are doing it to survive, because they had no other options? I understand they’re doing it out of desperation or as a last resort. I don’t hate the desperate, Gil, and I couldn’t hate you.”

The knot in Gilbert’s stomach began to dissipate. The worries that had been nagging at his mind began to be hushed. He buried his head in her shoulder, needing the closeness to keep himself composed. “Thank you.” The words were barely a whisper. “I was terrified you wouldn’t be able to stand me anymore. If I was without you I-I don’t know I’d do.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d expressed such a sentiment to her, but it was the first time Erzsébet believed it. Her grasp on him tightened when she felt her shoulder growing moist. She ran her fingers through his hair in an effort to be soothing. “Come on, there’s no reason to think about those things. You’re going to have to try harder to get rid of me.” She gently brought his face up to look at hers, a reassuring smile on her lips. “For better or worse, you’re stuck with me.”

Despite regaining his composure, he kept her pulled close to him. He needed the comfort physical proximity brought. To distract himself from the despairing thoughts swirling in his head, he began playing with the ends of her hair. His cigarette had been taken from him by Erzsébet, who now puffed on it herself. It repulsed her, but it was something to take the edge off as she’d run out of wine.

“You’re a good man, Gilbert.” Her voice appeared out of the dark. “You’re a better man than you think you are. I know you’ll never agree, but you’ve done things an evil man would never have done. Don’t be so quick to believe that you’re the villain.”

“This isn’t the fate a good person.”

“Would you say I’m evil? Or Katyusha or Feliks or Toris or any of the others?” He turned his head away. She knew his answer. “Exactly. You’re not a saint, but none of us are. None of us deserve what we’ve gotten here. Stop taking this as divine judgement when it’s nothing but mortal failings.”

The sound of crickets chirping filled the air. Erzsébet extinguished the cigarette at last before flicking it into the ashtray. She peered up, wanting to examine Gilbert and deduce what was happening in his mind. Normally, he was an easy person to read and one who whose emotions were clear as day. Only in affairs of the state was he usually so indecipherable. His eyes were straight ahead, his face a blank slate.

Eventually, he felt her gaze on him and looked down. He could sense her concern and forced a wide grin. “Don’t worry about me so much. I’m fine. I’m always fine.” He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin. “Nothing ever gets to me for long.” It sounded as if he were trying to reassure himself too.

The mood was too somber. For her own sanity, she would need to bring them to lighter spirits. “So, when you made this deal with the devil,” the look he shot her warned her to tread carefully. She blew him a kiss to let him know she was teasing. “Would it have killed you to make sure I was taken care of? Or was it all a rouse to have me spend autumn and winter here?”

“I did try to take care of you, but he wasn’t going for it. He said it was like him asking me to go easy on France. Which, really, how could you have me argue with that?” He patted her thigh. “Maybe next time don’t kill so many Russians.”

She shoved his hand off. “As if you’re one to talk! What a bastard, why does he think he’s so high and mighty?”

“Because he won the damn war! You’re acting like this is the worst thing he’s done to you!” Another cigarette was between his teeth as he spoke. While he fumbled with the lighter, she stole it from him. “Hey! That was my last one!”

“You’ll be fine without it. You reek of tobacco, I don’t want to smell it when I’m this close to you. Watch it!” A struggle ensued for the cigarette, resulting in them tumbling onto the porch deck. Erzsébet had successfully maintained her claim on it and, pinning Gilbert down, tossed it a couple meters out of reach. “Ha, I win again.”

Crossing his hands behind his head, he smirked up at her. “If this is what losing is, I don’t exactly mind.” He couldn’t help laughing when she smacked him in the chest. “What? I’m not allowed to enjoy myself? Do you want me to suffer more?”

She slid off him, moving to lay her head on his chest. “I’m starting to think you haven’t suffered enough.”

Gilbert’s mind began racing again. These past decades had been torturous. Even having Erzsébet by his side, it didn’t dissipate all the horrors they’d witnessed and been subjected to since being sacrificed to Russian ambitions. It was a testament to their endurance that they continued pushing on with whatever hope they deemed safe to maintain under this system. His thoughts drifted to those they’d left on the other side of the curtain. On the worst days, the memories of the family they’d left behind were the only fuel either of them had left. His belief in God had been squandered long ago, yet he still found himself habitually praying for their safety and to someday see them again.

“Neither of them would be able to handle this.” He didn’t feel the need to clarify. She would know who he was referring to. “Can you imagine Ludwig here? The kid would be a neurotic mess, too much of a control freak to take the passive role.”

“I wonder who he inherited that from.” She shook her head, imagining Ludwig in this sick performance of theirs. “He asks too many questions sometimes. You’d be taking so many beatings for him.” She paused, the memory of Ludwig as a child coming to her. His wide blue eyes, how precocious he was, the way he idolized the three of them. “On second thought, we both would be.”

His fingertips brushed along the small of her back. She could see the hints of a smile on the corner of his mouth. “We would have to trade off.” He chuckled, considering their remaining family. “Can’t forget Roddy either. He wouldn’t be able to stop running his mouth, demanding the respect of an aristocrat as if these people haven’t murdered them for the same.”

“Please, that’s simplifying it too much. We wouldn’t try to protect him the first time, thinking he would be able to handle it. He would be so battered, there would be no question in our minds what we would have to do.” She rolled her eyes. The scene was so vivid to her that, if she squinted, it would appear as reality. “At least with Ludwig he could be reasoned with. Roderich would be insulted if we ever suggested to him that he shut up to placate such barbarians.”

“I’d rather deal with obstinacy than Ludwig’s depressive angst. If you think I’m bad, wait till you see the kid in action. He’d have us all slitting our wrists in no time.” The mood shifted around Gilbert as his last conversation with Ludwig came to mind. “He was a mess before I had to leave. Kept repeating how it wasn’t fair that I received the worst of it, that he should be taking my place instead. Funny time for him to want play the hero, huh?” He laughed softly, but there was no humor to his joke. “I told him that it’s fine, that my purpose is to take care of him. What kind of-” he hesitated, always nervous to speak the word.

“You can say it. You’re with me.”

A loud exhale. “What kind of _Vatti_ would I be if I sent him to the vultures? If our places were reversed, I wouldn’t forgive myself.” A morose smile settled on his lips. Looking at the stars reminded him that he wasn’t as far from Ludwig as it felt. “The best prisoners we get are from the West. According to them, he’s doing well for himself and staying out of trouble. If those two morons don’t blow us all to hell, I want to tell him I’m proud of him and the man he’s grown into.”

The whole time he spoke, Erzsébet had been listening intently. She squeezed him tightly when he finished. There was too much to say, her emotions were overwhelming. Nostalgia for their old life settled in. Even though their relationships had been incredibly complex and fraught for most of it, she longed for the past and how quaint it all seemed now. “How much longer do you think this will last?” What she wouldn’t give now to embrace Ludwig and Roderich, to tease them both about their idiosyncrasies and irritate them with her own. The past wasn’t perfect, but its blemishes made it all the more beautiful.

Gilbert mentally wrestled with her question. How much longer could this go on? He knew nothing lasted forever – his own quick ascendency and downfall served as a personal reminder – but the Soviet Union’s vice grip on the present felt impenetrable. “Roderich used to ask me the same thing about the Nazis and every time I would tell him it couldn’t be much longer. That it would be another year at most. Neither of us ever believed it, but it was a comforting lie.” He scowled, pessimism taking control. “How silly would it be to delude ourselves with the same thing? Is two years realistic enough or should it be three?”

“Two. I want to have hope, even if it’s false.” She was tracing shapes on his chest. She traced the silhouette of an eagle. “If we both rebelled, we might have a chance this time. We both know we’re stronger together. Besides, I’m sure your gun is bigger than Russia’s.”

Her euphemism awarded her a laugh, giving things the semblance of quasi-normalcy. “Clever.” He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t tempt me with a suicide mission. We should head inside. It’s getting late and my back is stiff.” He tried rising, but she refused to budge.

“It’s warm for October. We haven’t slept under the stars in years, not since when you first told me you love me. Could we tonight? While the weather is still nice?”

By no means did he want to. But when she stared at him with those gorgeous emerald eyes, with ardor that was reserved only for him, how could he deny her anything? Whenever she looked at him like that, he wouldn’t hesitate to gift her the world if it was what she desired. “Of course, _Liebling,_ though I would like to grab my pillow.”

With the moon and the sky their only witnesses, it was the first night of peace they found in years.


End file.
